Mango Avocado Salad

In my ongoing quest to use up the lovely items I've been getting from Imperfect Produce before the fruit flies get to them, I came up with this salad. It is light, creamy, and refreshing, especially when paired with a well-seasoned grilled protein.

Jerk-seasoned pork chop, cumin grilled zucchini, jasmine rice, and mango avocado salad

2 T. mayo

1/2 lime, juiced

1 t. Dijon

few dashes hot sauce

salt & pepper, to taste

2 large mangoes, diced

1/2 red bell pepper, finely diced

2 avocados, diced

3 green onion, sliced

1/3 C. fresh basil, chopped

In medium bowl, gently combine all ingredients until well mixed. Cover and chill until ready to serve.

Liver... and... onions... ew

I'm just going to come right out and tell you, I hate liver. Hate eating it. Hate cooking it. Absolutely loathe it. Hate everything about it from beginning to end. However, it was my ex-husband's favorite thing ever, so we came to a compromise. I would cook it once a year for his birthday. In the 30 years we were together, I kinda nailed it. There will be no photos in this post, as I am never going to touch that stuff again in my life, but I can't let my recipe just die either.

Here it is... the ultimate liver recipe...

1 lb beef liver... or calf liver... or whatever the fuck OMG JUST GET SOME DAMN LIVER, YOU MONSTER!!!
1 qt buttermilk
2 t salt
1 t onion powder
1 t garlic powder
1 c flour
2 t salt
fresh ground pepper
2 large sweet onions, thinly sliced
1/2 lb thick sliced bacon, cut into 1" pieces

The SECOND you get in the house with your supplies, head directly for the kitchen. Find a medium sized bowl (preferably with a corresponding lid). Remove liver slices from original container and place in bowl. Pour half the carton of buttermilk over. Add salt, onion, and garlic powders. Toss and mix everything until completely coated. Cover and let it sit there and think about what it's done.
In a large frying pan, cook bacon until crisp. Drain and reserve all fat and drippings.
Saute onions in 2 T. bacon fat, sprinkling with a little salt, until transparent and just starting to caramelize. Remove onions from pan and hold with bacon.
Place flour, salt, and pepper in a plastic bag, shaking to mix. Carefully... very carefully... grab the smallest corner of the nearest piece of EW!!! Shake off as much buttermilk as you can and throw it in the bag of flour. Shake shake shake the bag... grab a corner and shake the liver slice some more... ew... then put it on a rack to, once again, contemplate it's life choices. Repeat with remaining slices.
Heat remaining bacon drippings, adding more butter if needed, until almost smoking. Dip each liver slice back into the buttermilk mixture, then back into the flour, then omg IthinkIneedatherapysessionrightnow... carefully lower into hot fat. Fry until coating is golden and blood is just starting to rise to the top. Turn and fry for another few minutes, until golden brown. The liver should be barely pink in the middle when cut. Set onto warmed serving plate to rest. Throw onions and bacon back into hot pan to reheat. Scoop over fried liver slices. Serve to the child of Satan who eats that crap.

I don't eat it... I just work here.